Major League Baseball

McConnell: “What Idiot Gave These Corporations So Much Power in Our Political Discourse?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-KY) has a reputation for being a steely, unemotional political combatant, even as he's driving a rhetorical dagger into the hearts of his opponents. This morning, however, shortly before lashing out...

He Hates Cancel Culture So He’s Boycotting Coke, MLB, Delta, and the 14th Amendment

SHITLIP, NEW JERSEY -- 27 year old Marcus Palumbo absolutely, positively hates "cancel culture." He can't define it with any kind of real precision, but he knows without a shadow of a doubt that cancel culture will, in Marcus's...

MLB Institutes Designated Ventilator Rule

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In a fairly unprecedented development, Major League Baseball today announced that they were instituting a new rule that will apply universally to both the National and American Leagues. MORE: Facebook Introduces “Bullshit” Post Reaction "Due to...

Major League Baseball Officially Renames Strikeout a “Trump Muslim Ban”

"We're also thinking of renaming the Washington Nationals to the Washington White Nationalists while Trump's in office."

Washington Nationals Couldn’t Get Trump To Throw Their First Pitch And Went With An Orange Bag Of Diarrhea

Co-President Trump will not be throwing out the first pitch for the Washington Nationals, but something very similar will be.

MLB Institutes Electoral College, Awards World Series To Indians

Baseball levels the playing field with their own Electoral College.
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Latest News

Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse...
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