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Bernie Sanders Withdraws From Primary in Order to Spend More Time With Remaining Vocal Cords

MIAMI, FLORIDA — Two-time Democratic nomination contender and man who shouts at strangers on the A train while they all pretend he isn’t actually there, Bernie Sander, has this morning caused upset in hipster cafes across the nation after...
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DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give his administration $6 billion in taxpayer funds so...
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