LGBTQ

Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood all fifty states. Robertson was speaking on his Monday morning podcast, "Wake Up With Jesus,"...

Alabama GOP Demands “Arthur” Air Episode Where He Marries His Sister

BAISEURS DE COUSIN EN ARRIÉRE PARISH, ALABAMA -- On May 13th, 2019, PBS aired the season premiere of "Arthur," a long-running children's animated program based on the books by author Marc Brown. The episode's plot involved Arthur, the titular...

Robertson Begs ‘The Gays’ to Only Do ‘Hand and Mouth Stuff’ Until After Hurricane Season

Televangelist and 700 Club host Pat Robertson has an interesting proposal for the LGBTQ community that he hopes will stop the hurricanes.

Study Confirms Mike Pence Thinks About LGTBQ Stuff More Than People Participating In LGTBQ Stuff

BONTÉ FALLS, WEST VIRGINIA -- Researchers in West Virginia recently published the results of a study they conducted which they say proves Vice President Mike Pence "thinks about butt sex more than people having butt sex think about butt sex." Dr....

Transgender Recruit Assures Commander In Chief She Has No Bone Spurs

RILEY, VIRGINIA -- For the last six months, 19 year old Kristine Mullins has been preparing herself for her life in the U.S. Army. Mullins decided early last year to enlist after a couple of semesters of junior college...

Dems Float Legislation Directing DHH To Allow Doctors To Refuse Treating Mouth Breathing Religious Zealots

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In response to the Trump administration's efforts to overhaul the Department of Health and Human Services to offer legal protections for doctors, nurses, and other medical staff to deny healthcare and other services to patients based...

While In Afghanistan, VP Mike Pence Joins Taliban

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN -- Vice President Mike Pence embarked on his first trip to Afghanistan this week, which was a surprise visit for security reasons. Today Pence shocked perhaps the entire world when he announced while in the country that...

Confused Panic Strikes Roy Moore When He Comes Upon 14 Year Old Trans Girl In Bathroom

ALABAMA -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Judge Roy Moore has returned home after being rushed to the hospital with concerns of a possible stroke or heart attack earlier this weekend. Mr. Moore was reportedly entering...

Christian Baker Refuses To Sell Wedding Cakes To ‘Fake Christian Bigots’

STAG HORN, COLORADO -- While the case of a fellow Colorado baker was argued before the Supreme Court, Todd Marin was going about his usual day at his own bakery. Todd is a devout and proud Christian, and he...
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Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse...
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