Kevin McCarthy

Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse faced cave troll that broke out from the Smithsonian's "Prehistoric Humans" exhibit wound up at President Joe Biden's State of...

Conservative Economist Predicts Inflation Will Fall 200% If Everyone Sees Hunter Biden’s Dick

When the Republican Party secured control of the House of Representatives in last year's midterm election, they promised the American people that they would get to business tackling the important issues that need addressing, such as inflation, which has...

George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before he had even been administered his oath of office, Santos was embroiled in a slew of scandalous accusations that he...

MTG Vows to Show Baby Killing Dems She No Longer Believes Wild Conspiracy Theories

Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) will serve on a pair of congressional committees for the next two years, which is almost certainly repayment from alleged Speaker Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) for her support in his historic, 15-round attempt to wrest...

MTG Wants to Subpoena the President, CEO, and Captain of Antifa

This week, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed a bill in the House of Representatives that, if passed into law, would designate Antifa as a domestic terrorist organization. This morning, Ms. Greene explained to reporters just how far she...

MTG Uses Secret Jewish Space Laser to Pinpoint Ilhan Omar’s Antisemitism

The House Republicans took control of the lower chamber of Congress two weeks ago, and after much speculation, committee assignments have been made. Surprising very few people, alleged Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) catered to factions within...

Confused MTG Gets Request from George Santos for House Drag Queen Story Hour

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) spoke to Fox News this morning about a slew of issues she and her fellow Republicans will tackle now that they have control of the House of Representatives, and have made their committee assignments....

Greene Will Chair House Subcommittee on Presidential Offspring Dick Pics

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) squeaked through on his fifteenth attempt to secure enough support from his fellow Republicans to become Speaker of the House, speculation began almost immediately as to how he would decide committee assignments. Republicans have...

Biden to Confiscate Gas Stoves and Put Them in Same FEMA Camps as Obama’s Guns

Over the course of the next two years, President Joe Biden (D) will have the U.S. Army remove nearly every single gas stove from American homes. The gas stoves will then be placed in the same FEMA camp warehouses...

I Just Had a Lobotomy, and I Am Shocked at How Incompetent House Republicans Are

I have to say, after watching Kevin McCarthy fail four consecutive times in two days to secure enough votes from his own party to become Speaker of the House, that I am starting to believe the Republican Party is...
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Latest News

Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse...
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