John McCain

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned about the rapid population decline of vertebrate Republicans in the wild, and fear the species is headed toward "spectacular extinction," according to a new report released this week....

John McCain’s Spirit Sneaks Into White House and Teabags the President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Secret Service is reporting at the time of publication that they have enlisted the help of the Ghostbusters, a New York based paranormal investigation and removal service, in order to help them apprehend the disembodied...

Trump Challenges John McCain to Fist Fight

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the last several days, President Donald Trump has increased his hostile, combative, insulting, and demeaning rhetoric toward the late Senator John McCain, culminating in him telling reporters he's "never been a fan of John McCain"...

Sarah Palin Pretty Sure She’s President Now

FLATULENT FALLS, ALASKA -- Former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is said to be boarding a jet headed for the nation's capital at the time of publication, convinced she is now rightfully the President of the United States. "John died....

Don Trump Jr: “John McCain Isn’t Worthy To Carry My Daddy’s Bone Spurs!”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK --The war of words between two Republican families is heating up as Donald Trump Jr., the president's first born white collar crook, just gave an interview to a right-wing radio host in which he implied...

McCain Offers to Teach John Kelly What ‘Disrespecting Vets Looks Like’ Using His Boss’s Words

"You work for a man who is routinely disrespectful of everyone, veterans included."

Mitch McConnell Wonders If There Really Is A God If He Won’t Let Millions of People Lose Healthcare

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is in the middle of an epic existential crisis, feeling forsook by his lord and savior.

Doctors: John McCain’s Brain Tumor Closely Connected to His Heart, Soul, Humanity

Senator John McCain received a heroes welcome before casting a deciding vote on the healthcare debate.

John McCain Asks Mayo Clinic to Prepare Brain Surgery Bill in iPhones

How many iPhones would it take to pay for the brain surgery Sen. John McCain just had? He wants to find out.

John McCain Still In His Seat Babbling Incoherently 24 Hours After Comey Finished Testifying

Senator John McCain was still rambling and babbling this morning when cleaning crews found him in the same committee hearing room he was in yesterday.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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