John Lewis

Ghosts of Elijah Cummings and John Lewis Mistake Jar of Mayonnaise for Marco Rubio

THE GREAT BEYOND -- There was a brief but quite ironically hilarious case of mistaken identity reported from the afterlife this morning. Reportedly, two late congressmen, both African Americans and strong champions of civil rights and equality mistook allegedly still-breathing...

Trump Asks Civil Rights Museum Tour Guide For His Long Form Birth Certificate

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- While touring the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum this morning, President Donald Trump halted the tour long enough to demand the tour guide, an African American, show their long form birth certificate to him. "The president is committed...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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