SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden told reporters that if he wins the election next week, he'll ensure a "productive and peaceful transition of power" by...
OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small city just a few miles south of Orlando, First Lady Ivanka Trump implored voters to "think about the kinds of hands behind the wheel" of...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump absolutely loves to interrupt and talk over his debate opponents. He did it to Hillary Clinton consistently in their matchups, and he did so in the first debate with former Vice President Joe Biden...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States of America is the most powerful elected position ever created in the history of humanity. President Donald J. Trump told reporters today that he's decided to wield that power by...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten to Ivanka Trump that her father had decided to not participate in the next scheduled...
When you're living in historic times, sometimes it's hard to recognize, contemporaneously, just how historic those times might be.
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For instance, one might presume that a sitting president sucking...
CLEVELAND, OHIO -- A massive, 300-pound orange toddler stood on a stage with former Vice President Joe Biden last night and threw what scholars and historians are calling the longest, most prolonged tantrum in American history.
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CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Tonight, after months of anticipation, the first presidential debate of the 2020 election season between former Vice President Joe Biden and President Donald Trump will commence. Both men have reportedly been doing some form of debate...
Editor's Note:
The following is an editorial written by the Editor In Chief and Head Fuckwit of The Political Garbage Chute, James "Jambo" Schlarmann. The views and opinions expressed therein absolutely, positively reflect those of this publication, and its ownership, because well,...
AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their words "fully and completely endorsing fellow Religious Zealot" Judge Amy Coney Barrett to replace the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the United States Supreme Court. The Taliban statement...
