Joe Biden

Ted Cruz Wants to Know Whether He Can Identify as a Man If He Gets His Balls Back From Trump

If his recent actions are to be taken at face value, it would appear that Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) may be going through a time of inner-reflection and self-discovery, and that his introspection may have led him to question...

Dems Offer to Exchange Jackson’s LSATs for Kavanaugh’s BAC the Night He Assaulted Blasey Ford

https://youtu.be/KpyFDvoO8UU When President Joe Biden nominated Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, not many on the Hill expected Republicans to just roll over without a fight and let her onto the bench without smearing...

Ted Cruz: “Did Biden Forget Real Presidents Only Use the State of the Union to S Their Own D?”

Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) was not a fan of President Joe Biden's first State of the Union Address, however that is probably as surprising as finding out that a week's worth of Taco Bell will give you diarrhea as...

Trump Plans to Be Sitting on His Fat Ass While Brandon Delivers State of the Union Address

https://youtu.be/8FNPu6z_l8g While President Brandon is delivering the very first State of the Union Address of his presidency, one twice-permanently impeached, defeated ex-president will be doing what sources tell us he does the best. On the condition of anonymity and Bass Pro...

Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump

https://youtu.be/rlontZVFkgw This week, President Joe Biden denied his predecessor's request to extend executive privilege over documents related to the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021. While not surprising, Biden's decision to hand over communications to and from former, one term, twice...

Trump Demands Pence Be Investigated For Not Letting Himself Be Hanged by MAGA Supporters

FARTS-A-LOT-THO, FLORIDA -- Taking in a second buffet lunch of the day so far,  former one term, twice permanently impeached, defeated President Donald Trump told diners at his Florida luxury resort that he was "immediately sending, in a very...

Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning that he would be flying to Moscow this weekend for the purpose of conducting what he called the "most important and consequential interview" of his career. "Brian, let me...

Data Indicates Brandon Gets Shit Done and Trump Didn’t Do Shit

Newly released data from the National Institute of Looking Into This Sorta Thing doesn't have much good news for a certain twice-forever impeached president who never won the popular vote and only got one term. According to a report published...

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President Don Trump than Rep. Gym Jordan (Q-OH). Jordan's devotion to Trump is so complete that even now, nine months after Joe Biden was sworn in, and...

Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Democrats on the Hill all seem to know the stakes. Time is running out before next year's mid-terms, and if the scores of breathless op-eds written on the subject are to be believed, they could lose control...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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