Joe Biden

Data Indicates Brandon Gets Shit Done and Trump Didn’t Do Shit

Newly released data from the National Institute of Looking Into This Sorta Thing doesn't have much good news for a certain twice-forever impeached president who never won the popular vote and only got one term. According to a report published...

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President Don Trump than Rep. Gym Jordan (Q-OH). Jordan's devotion to Trump is so complete that even now, nine months after Joe Biden was sworn in, and...

Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Democrats on the Hill all seem to know the stakes. Time is running out before next year's mid-terms, and if the scores of breathless op-eds written on the subject are to be believed, they could lose control...

Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons in defense of one of their strongest allies -- Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona. On Twitter, insurrectionist, pro-MAGA Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted conservative CNN...

Wow! Twitter Hasn’t Banned a President of the United States in Over Five Months!

Holy smokes! It's hard to believe, so you better be seated before you read this epic news that just broke from California's Swilly Corn Valley! Are you ready? You've been warned. Twitter hasn't banned the President of the United States...

Trump Mocks Biden for Not Being Invited to One of Putin’s ‘Yellow Parties’

This morning, President Joe Biden and Russian President Vladimir Putin held their first summit together since Biden defeated Putin's preferred candidate and was elected last November. It's unclear what the exact topics of conversation will be, but given the...

Poll: 53% of Republicans Believe Ivanka Trump Is Actual First Lady

The results of a recently published Reuters/Ipsos poll could possibly provide insight as to how far politicians seeking to mint themselves as "bipartisan" would have to reach across the aisle to please the other party's voters. According to the...

Biden Orders “Capitalism” Removed from U.S. Constitution

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The government must remove any and all references to "capitalism" from the United States Constitution by the end of next week, according to a new order just signed by President Joe Biden in the Oval Office...

Biden Ends Trump Administration’s Research Into Electrolytes and Plant Life

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While he's only been in office just around a hundred days, President Joe Biden has shown no lack of desire or commitment to change things quite dramatically. Already, Biden has closed the McDonald's kitchen his predecessor...

Super Pro-American MAGA Patriot Rooting for Murderous Dictator to Beat Biden In Debate

He really loves the United States but really wants the American president to lose in a debate with the Russian president/chief murderer.
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Mark Meadows Signals Intent to Plead the Filth Before January 6th Committee

Former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, through his attorney, has made the House Select Committee investigating the...
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