Joe Arpaio

Turkey Passes On Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president to "pardon" a turkey in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. However, this year the condemned gobbler has issued a statement "passing" on a presidential...

Trump Pardons John Wilkes Booth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours after announcing he was going to be issuing a full presidential pardon to convicted felon and right-wing commentator Dinesh D'Souza, President Trump announced he was issuing another pardon to John Wilkes Booth, the man...

Literal Piece Of Shit Considers Challenging Arpaio For AZ Senate Seate

GRIFFIN BEACH, ARIZONA -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the 85 year old controversial law enforcement official who was pardoned last year by President Donald Trump, has entered the race for retiring Senator Jeff Flake's (R) seat. Arpaio was convicted last...

Trump Asks Civil Rights Museum Tour Guide For His Long Form Birth Certificate

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- While touring the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum this morning, President Donald Trump halted the tour long enough to demand the tour guide, an African American, show their long form birth certificate to him. "The president is committed...
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DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give his administration $6 billion in taxpayer funds so...
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