KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway, President and CEO of Holy Trinity, Inc., sent a Venmo request to Joel Osteen this morning, seeking $600,000 from the famous televangelist. At a press conference this morning, Schumway told angelic reporters...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- If you're going to die soon, and if when you do you expect to wind up in Heaven, you better bring your vaccination records with you.
At a press conference held from outside the bounds...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Americans who find themselves praying that former President Donald J. Trump dies before he can run for re-enter the political arena and run for office again are not running afoul of Jesus Hubert Christ...
The 80+ year old televangelist said Jesus told him personally he needs to protect the "integrity" of sports by feeling up student athletes before their games.
SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the character from the bestselling fantasy fiction series "The Whore-y Bible," which is an edition of the Bible that features sexualized stories from the scripture, told the world today...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Trinity, Inc's CEO Larry "God" Schumway, was brushing his holy teeth, and saw something he told friends and colleagues was "really crazy" and that he'd never seen...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who also consider themselves fans of the Star Wars franchise not to invest themselves too heavily in the sci-fi space opera. Robertson specifically was concerned about a new...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, the Executive Vice-President of Holy Trinity Inc. held a press conference and addressedm among other things, mass shootings in the United States. There have been more mass shootings than days thus far...
COPA MILAGRO, NEW MEXICO -- Grant Tabor is a lifelong resident of New Mexico, and as he calls himself, "a dyed in the wool, rock-ribbed, shoot-em-up" Conservative. Tabor is one of thousands of Christians who have joined the boycott...
North Bloomfield, CA -- In what his friends are calling a remarkable change of events, local malcontent and self-proclaimed dickhead Don Vaca has announced that he is giving up his old dickhead ways for a new and reborn dickhead...
