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Jeff Sessions

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....
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Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick

BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model Jeff Sessions held...

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.

Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards

WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite...

Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile

GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...

Sessions Promises To ‘Get to Bottom Of Why’ Hillary Clinton’s Lawyer, Campaign Manager Still Not Going To Prison

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than a year and a half into the Donald Trump...

Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians

LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple...

Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force

CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA -- Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked in for his...

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

This story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time...

Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined Marijuana Firm

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House...

California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID

EL DORADO VERDE  VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made...

Robert Mueller Assures Andrew McCabe His Office Door Is Always Open, ‘Just In Case’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired Deputy FBI Director...

Jeff Sessions Not Sure Trump’s Dick Tastes So Good After All

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of evangelical Christians in...

Latest articles

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....

I’m So Grateful Elon Rescued Twitter from Overly Political Owners So He Can Help Trump Win!

The following editorial was written and submitted by Dustin Pewpsin, a Republican strategist working...

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...