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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Criminal Justice
Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials
"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
April 17, 2024
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024
Criminal Justice
Biden Plans to Deploy Official Democrat Antifa Squads In the Event of Post-Election Civil Unrest
SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning,...
October 30, 2020
MAGA News
Ivanka: “America Needs the Leadership of Small Hands and Even Smaller Genitals”
OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small...
October 29, 2020
MAGA News
Merriam-Webster Redefines the Word “Cunty”
The fact of the matter is that English, like all language, is an artform...
October 28, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Demands Every Vote Cast For Him Is Counted ‘At Least Once’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With just over a week to go until Election Day, President...
October 26, 2020
MAGA News
Matt Gaetz Says ‘Trump’s Bootyhole Had the Dewy Essence of Victory’ After Final Debate With Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Matt Gaetz, a Republican from Florida, makes no bones about...
October 23, 2020
MAGA News
To Sidestep Having His Mic Cut, Trump Plans to Share Biden’s Podium
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump absolutely loves to interrupt and talk over his debate...
October 21, 2020
U.S. Politics
Trump Complains Debate Moderator Will Ask Questions About His Real Record Instead of His Imaginary One
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States of America is the most...
October 20, 2020
Science & Medicine
Dr. Dre Fauci Suggests Trump May Want to Have Himself Tested for ‘Punkassbitchitis’
Fauci's gangster alter ego is taking no shit from nobody.
October 20, 2020
MAGA News
World’s Toughest, Strongest Alpha Male Chickens Out of Second Debate With Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the presidential debate commission announced that out of an...
October 8, 2020
MAGA News
Op-Ed: We Need a Cure. Not Even the Coronavirus Deserves to Be Subjected to Stephen Miller.
The following editorial absolutely reflects the views and opinions of this publication, its management,...
October 7, 2020
Science & Medicine
American Dental Association Says Lying Through Your Teeth Greatly Increases Risk of Covid-19 Infection
The American Dental Association has issued a statement advising that there is a "heightened...
October 5, 2020
Science & Medicine
Trump Demands to Know Which Asshole Botched Covid So Bad He Got It
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States and his wife Melania have...
October 2, 2020
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials
"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
April 17, 2024
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024
Criminal Justice
Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes
"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
April 10, 2024
Lifestyle
Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More
The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...
April 4, 2024