James Comey

Trump: ‘I Didn’t Obstruct Justice, I Just Tried to Impede an Investigation!’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump lashed out the media, Democrats, and Special Counsel Robert Mueller and he explained that he knows "deep, deep down" that he didn't commit obstruction of justice. "There is no friggin' way I committed...

Trump: It’s ‘Treasonous’ That Andrew McCabe and Others Put Country Ahead of Loyalty to Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An explosive new "60 Minutes" interview and a new book from former FBI Director Andrew McCabe is lighting the Hill on fire, and it has President Trump very angry. During the interview, McCabe confirms that he opened...

Putin Revokes Brennan’s Security Clearance

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Former CIA Director John Brennan has been stripped of his security clearance at the behest of the most powerful man in the world. Speaking to reporters, Kremlin Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders made the announcement. “Mr. Putin has...

Mueller Sends Copy Of Comey’s Book To White House And Asks Trump For Inscription

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within The White House say that when President Trump received a package from Special Counsel Robert Mueller, addressed to the president specifically, he flew into a nervous fit. "What the shit is this? Mueller's sending me...

White House Doctors Trying To Remove Comey’s Shoe From President’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities at this hour are confirming that White House doctors are scrambling to perform a vital surgery on President Donald J. Trump. "At approximately 3 AM this morning, we arrived on the scene at the White House...

Trump Asks Putin If He Should Send James Comey an Edible Arrangement

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to sources within the White House, President Donald J. Trump has reached out to his boss and asked for guidance in dealing with a very intense and stressful new development. Witnesses inside the Oval Office claim...

Robert Mueller Assures Andrew McCabe His Office Door Is Always Open, ‘Just In Case’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe. The firing culminates weeks of animus directed toward McCabe by President Donald Trump and his surrogates. In his statement firing McCabe, Sessions attempted to...

Robert Mueller to Hand Deliver Criminal Charges to Trump Administration Inside Dildo

"This way, one way or another you can go fuck yourself."

Trump Pre-Pardons Himself for Pardoning Himself for Things He Said He Didn’t Do

If Trump pardons himself, he may put himself in even deeper legal waters. So he needs to pre-pardon himself for pardoning himself. Get it?

Hillary Spotted in NYC, Circling Donald Trump Jr.’s Building & Shouting ‘But HIS Emails!’

As news broke of his own email problems, Hillary Clinton circled Donald Trump Jr.'s block to mock him over them.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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