WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a weekly press conference held by Senate Republicans, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) was asked for his thoughts on whether former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Don Trump should run for his party's nomination again...
NEPOTISM LAKE, FLORIDUH -- It's probably the most frequently asked question at every American dinner table this week: Will getting a COVID-19 vaccine shot have an effect on your testicles?
Assuming one has them, the issue of whether or not...
"My first clue was that unlike Bruce Wayne, Daddy's a billionaire who doesn't care about anyone but himself. But then, yeah, the eating pussy thing."
When you grow up with an allegedly wealthy father, who is supposed to be a...
The results of a recently published Reuters/Ipsos poll could possibly provide insight as to how far politicians seeking to mint themselves as "bipartisan" would have to reach across the aisle to please the other party's voters. According to the...
Today, disgraced former Secret Service agent and multiple-failed congressional candidate Dan Bongino took over for Rush Limbaugh, who has still yet to buy his way out of his death from stage four lung cancer a few months ago. For...
FAR-TA-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Sources close to the situation in Florida are telling us that this past weekend, several dozen crates of crayons were delivered to former President Donald Trump's luxury resort, in preparation of his attempt to write a...
Did Ivanka Trump illegally steer money earmarked for her dad's presidential inauguration into Trump Organization's coffers? That's why she gave testimony in a deposition this week, at any rate. Ms. Trump divulged at least that much herself, in a...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Perhaps its current occupant is still unwilling to face facts, but the simple truth is that on January 20th, 2021, a new couple will move into the White House. Reportedly, the cleaning staff at the president's...
OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small city just a few miles south of Orlando, First Lady Ivanka Trump implored voters to "think about the kinds of hands behind the wheel" of...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten to Ivanka Trump that her father had decided to not participate in the next scheduled...
