insurrection

MTG Hopeful Tucker Carlson Only Shows January 6th Footage From Her Good Side

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) praised alleged Speaker Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) for releasing more than 40,000 hours of video footage from January 6th, 2021 to Fox News host and Grand Wizard Tucker Carlson yesterday, when she arrived at work...

Greene Can’t Recall What She Said She Can’t Recall About What She Said Five Minutes Ago

Last week, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) took the witness stand in the first hearing to determine her eligibility to seek re-election. Greene's candidacy has been challenged by a group of voters in her own district, on grounds that...

Cruz Says He Helped Plan Eastman’s Coup Because “Someone Laced Trump’s Taint With Roofies”

Yesterday, a federal judge ruled that Trump loyalist and lawyer John Eastman could not shield over 100 email communications he had with the White House during the time between the November 2020 election and January 6th, 2021. Eastman had...

History: The Day a President Suffered Humiliating Insurrectile Dysfunction

In American history, there are many dates that carry more importance than others. July 4th, December 7th, and September 11th are some of the most famous and infamous. Last year, exactly one year ago, January 6th joined those dates...

Hannity Was Served His January 6th Subpoena While He Was Still Inside Trump’s Butthole

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Not long after the Select Congressional Committee investigating the events of January 6th, 2021 announced that it was seeking cooperation from Fox News host Sean Hannity, he was served with a subpoena demanding his testimony. The fact...

Trump to Mark Anniversary of Jan. 6th by Storming McDonald’s Playground He Was Kicked Out Of

FARTS A LOT, THOUGH -- FLORIDA --Tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary of Donald Trump's failed coup attempt of January 6th, 2021. Initially, the former, one term, twice forever impeached president planned to hold a big press event,...

Santa Updates 2021 Naughty List Infractions to Include “Inciting or Participating in a Coup”

THE NORTH POLE -- Santa Claus has what could be very bad news for a select group of American white nationalist patriots. In a new television interview, conducted only weeks before he takes to the sky to drop his...

Warden Denies MTG Conjugal Visit With January 6th Attackers, Citing Illegality of Horse Fucking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is no stranger to being denied access to the people currently being held in federal prison, awaiting trial for their roles in the January 6th attempted coup on behalf of...

Biden Informs January 6th Insurrectionist He Can Pardon Turkeys, Not Lemmings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Stretching back several decades, the sitting U.S. President has pardoned at least one turkey before the Thanksgiving holiday. Although President Biden will continue that tradition this year, one American is especially disappointed about who the lucky...

Boebert Thought Planning Trump’s Insurrection Just Meant ‘Giving Boners to Some Dirty MAGAs’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Responding to a new bombshell report in Rolling Stone that indicates she participated in a plot to overturn last year's election, freshman Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) tried to bat away, deflect, and downplay the implications of the article. "Yeah,...
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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