Hawley Proposes Banning Kids from Social Media Until They’ve Dated Matt Gaetz

Sen. Josh Hawley (Q-MO), who is the current record holder in the 200-yard dash out of the capitol during an insurrection event, is unabashed about his desire to keep kids off social media platforms for as long as possible. "I...

46th Smartest President Allowed Back on Facebook and Instagram

Citing their policy to be "open to humans of all intelligence levels," Meta has announced that they will lift their ban, and the 46th smartest President of the United States will be allowed to post on Facebook and Instagram...
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Trump Orders “Beautiful MAGA Army” to Ready Their Rascal Scooters for a Jail Break

Former President Trump is, according to several sources at Mar-A-Lago, really starting to lose his patience and cool, days...
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