Impeachment

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is the day that Americans celebrate the time-honored tradition of sucking off insurrectionist former presidents throughout...

Impeachment: Hawley Says He Hasn’t Heard Convincing Evidence From Within Trump’s Peepee Hole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From his vantage point, Senator Josh Hawley (Q-MO) says he hasn't seen any evidence that should convict the former president of the United States on the article of impeachment brought against him by the House of...

Gaez Blames Cancel Culture for His Inability to Bring a Woman to Climax Even Once

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there is one thing Congressman Matt Gaetz loathes, it's sobriety. Another thing he despises is "cancel culture." Though many conservatives have a hard time telling the difference between "cancel culture" and "accountability," the Florida Republican said...

Gaetz: “In America, It’s Three Insurrections and You’re Out, Not One!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For two hours this morning, the House of Representatives debated whether or not President Donald Trump -- who has less than a full week left in office -- should be impeached for inciting the violent riot...

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't a country made up of a government comprised of three wholly separate and equal branches...

Trump Orders Brad Pitt Sent to Gitmo for ‘Treasonous’ Oscars Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued an official order to the justice department, demanding that Attorney General William Barr indict actor Brad Pitt for treason, following the 2020 Academy Awards. Mr. Pitt won the Oscar for...

Permanently Impeached Fat Fuck Sucks Own Dick, Rambles, Whines About Constitution for Room Full of Sycophantic Cultists

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A sweaty, rambling, permanently impeached fat fuck stood in a room in the White House and proceeded to suck his own dick, ramble incoherently, and whine about the very Constitution he swore an oath to defend...

Eric Trump Says It’s ‘Shameful’ That Joe Biden Got His Son Barista Job at Ukrainian Starbucks

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's smartest son with the name "Eric" appeared on Fox News last night and proceeded to trash former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter. His father's impeachment trial has hit the...

Spoiled Little Rich Bitch Takes Daddy’s Silver Spoon Out of His Mouth to Accuse Others of Nepotism

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A spoiled little rich bitch, who also happens to be a man suffering from the worst case of Chronic Jizz Face doctors have ever recorded, decided to take the silver spoon he was born...

Pam Bondi’s Mouth Leaks $25,000 In Trump’s Cash During Impeachment Defense

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Cash totalling $25,000 fell out of former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's mouth as she made her case for impeaching Hunter Biden instead of President Donald Trump during the Senate impeachment trial's opening arguments. Ms. Bondi...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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