impeach Trump

Trump Orders Brad Pitt Sent to Gitmo for ‘Treasonous’ Oscars Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued an official order to the justice department, demanding that Attorney General William Barr indict actor Brad Pitt for treason, following the 2020 Academy Awards. Mr. Pitt won the Oscar for...

Trumpers Outraged “Classless” Pelosi Ripped Up Pussy Grabbing, Nazi Defending Birther’s Speech

All across America, patriotic, tough, hard-as-nails, salt of the earth, bootstrap pulling, rugged individualist, conservative Pro-Trump pundits and voters are screeching and writhing, seething with anger. At the center of these no-nonsense, serious, stoic Americans' ire? Speaker of the...

Eric Trump Says It’s ‘Shameful’ That Joe Biden Got His Son Barista Job at Ukrainian Starbucks

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's smartest son with the name "Eric" appeared on Fox News last night and proceeded to trash former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter. His father's impeachment trial has hit the...

Trey Gowdy Sure Does Wish Obama Had Been as ‘Concerned’ About Ukrainian Corruption as Trump

FORT DUMFUK, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy (R-SC) was one of Barack Obama's most ardent and dogged critics during his presidency. As chair of the House Oversight committee, Gowdy led more than one investigation into allegations of...

Cruz: “Democrats Are Waging a Partisan Attack On Our Partisan Acquittal After our Partisan Trial”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Zodiac Cruz (R-Trump's Rectal Cavity) lashed out at Congressional Democrats this morning has he headed into the Senate chamber. Cruz was preparing to participate in the third day of the impeachment trial of President Donald...

Trump: “They Better Call The Witnesses Who Can Exonerate Me and Who I’m Forbidding to Testify!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry President Trump lashed out at Congressional Democrats, farting wildly and loudly as he did so, and he had harsh words for "any Cuckpublican" in the Senate who votes to allow witnesses to testify in...

McConnell: “American Justice is a Fair Trial Where the Jury is Corrupt, Evidence is Hidden, and Witnesses Can’t Testify”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though the impeachment process is laid out clearly in the United States Constitution, the when, where, why, and how of it all is left up to interpretation enough that a political fight almost always becomes an...

4 Reasons This Chonky White Collar Criminal Wants You To Think He’s Above the Law. #4 Will Blow Your Mind.

This adorable little racist sack of shit wants you, and every other American to think he's above the law. Not only is he constantly trying to position himself into a place of authority that puts his adorably fat, xenophobic self...

Jordan Wants Hunter Biden to Testify About Hillary’s Benghazi Connection to Trump’s Ukraine Call

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Trump's Rectum) called on his fellow Republicans in the Senate to demand former Vice President Joe Biden's son Hunter testify in an impeachment trial, should the House pass articles of impeachment against...

Gargantuan Dumbfuck Just Can’t Stop Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment Like The Dumbfuck He Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A former D-list reality TV host, a man who somehow convinced 63 million Americans he'd be able to do as President of the United States something he could never do in his business life -- succeed...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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