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Heidi Cruz

Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
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U.S. Politics

Judge Jackson Regrets Not Pre-Insulting Heidi Cruz’s Looks

Now that her confirmation hearings have come to a close, sources say that Judge...
Conservative Media

Cruz: “Does Joe Biden Really Plan to Go Four Years Not Rage Tweeting About Cable News Ratings?”

An angry Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) took to the Senate floor today and blasted...
Lifestyle

8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife

There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen....
The Democrats

Cruz: “Why Is Joe Biden So Afraid to Call My Wife Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted President Joe Biden today, accusing him...
The Democrats

Dear President Joe: When Are You Going to Insult My Wife’s Looks, Sir?

"I'm waiting. Heidi's ugly ass is waiting. The nation's waiting."
Science & Medicine

Ted Cruz’s Ugly Wife Confirms Gender Neutral Potato Head and Her Husband Will Still Have Same Size Balls

Heidi Cruz, the ugly as sin wife of Sen. Ted Cruz, confirmed for reporters...
U.S. Politics

For the Sake of Bipartisanship, Biden Offers to Call Cruz’s Wife Ugly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden ran on a message of uniting the country....
MAGA News

Cruz: “An Impeachment Conviction After He’s Left Office Won’t Make My Wife Any Less Ugly”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before he left office, the former President of the United States...
MAGA News

Cruz Says He and His Ugly Wife Are Appalled By Pro-Trump Violent Mob He Incited

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- Just days before the violent pro-Trump mob ransacked the capitol building,...
MAGA News

Cruz Awaits Poll Closings and News About Whether His Wife Will Be Ugly Another Four Years

FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Canadian-born-Super-Texan-Cowboy-Elite-Ivy-League-Lawyer Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) told his staff this morning during...
MAGA News

Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before,...
MAGA News

Cruz: “You Know What? My Wife is an Ugly She-Beast. My Dad Did Try to Kill JFK. Trump Is Totally Innocent.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's highly likely that no one on the Hill has been...

Latest articles

Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...
MAGA News

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...

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