Moscow Demands Trump Help End Putin’s Shadow Government Shutdown

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent a strongly worded letter to American President In Name Only Donald Trump, demanding that the U.S. re-open its government. "Mr. Trump, I must remind you that my rubles guaranteed certain things,...

Putin Dictates Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions To Him

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin made a phone call to Secondary American President Donald Trump and dictated a list of resolutions Putin would like Mr. Trump to set as goals for himself in the coming year. "Donald!...

Vladimir Putin Unsure How To Follow Up Last Year’s Christmas Gift To Trump

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- In the Kremlin, word is that Vladimir Putin is hard at work trying to finish up his Christmas shopping. He's gotten gifts for all the important oligarchs in his life, but according to several sources close...

Why Haven’t We Seen Paul Manafort and Barack Obama in the Same Room Together?

"It makes a lot of sense if you just forget what sense is, and go purely on your gut and heart."

Jeff Sessions Starts Smoking Weed to Alleviate Stress of Russia Scandal

"This Russia shit is really getting to me, man."

Mueller Grand Jury Issues Subpoena For All Pussies Trump Grabbed Since June 2016

Special Counselor Robert Mueller's grand jury has issued a blanket subpoena for a potentially very large group -- pussies grabbed by Trump.

Trump Asks Congress ‘For a Friend’ If People Can Rage Tweet From Federal Prison

A concerned and beleaguered President Trump sends an urgent letter to Congress asking about tweet privileges for federal prisoners.

Trump Seeks Putin’s Input on When He Should Sign Russia Sanctions Bill

With an overwhelmingly bipartisan sanctions bill just lingering on his desk, President Trump explains he needs input from a good friend.

Kushner Blames Lack of Russian Translation for Omissions on Security Forms

American security forms are all in English, and Jared Kushner says that is at least partially to blame for his glaring omissions from them.
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
- Advertisement -spot_img