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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Pew Pew!

Red State School Hires Heavily Armed Vietnam Vet And Drifter To Teach U.S. History

HOPE, WASHINGTON -- A small Washington town has taken the issue of school security...
Pew Pew!

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch: ‘Children Should Be Shot At, But Not Heard’

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This morning, NRA spokesterrorist Dana Loesch gave an interview to a...
MAGA News

President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out Screaming 10 Minutes Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Many Americans might have gotten the sense in the last fifteen...
MAGA News

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's...
Pew Pew!

Adults Demand Teenagers Stop Effectively Demonstrating How Much They Failed To Protect Their Kids

GREEN GLEN, FLORIDA -- A group of concerned adults was seen chastising a group...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch Can’t Figure Out Why So Many People Hate Her Just Because She Takes Money From Massacre Mongering Monsters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch appeared on the panel of CNN's town...
Pew Pew!

Local Breitbart Reader Says Marjory Stoneman Survivors Were Duped By ‘Crisis Corpses’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a devout reader of Breitbart, and...
Conservative Media

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after...
Pew Pew!

Stressed Out, Underpaid, Overworked Adult Volunteers To Brandish Gun Around Students So Teachers Can Keep Teaching

It takes a well-armed village.
Pew Pew!

Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that...
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Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

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