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Tucker Carlson Will Interview Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Balls on Tonight’s Show

"I really think it makes sense for a dick like me to interview a couple of nuts." - Tucker Carlson Tonight, Fox News host and white supremacist Tucker Carlson will have a guest that is sure to make headlines the...

Bible Belt Teenage Incest Pregnancies Skyrocket After Fauci Reiterates Effectiveness of Condoms

The American Medical Union of America released a report this week that indicates Anthony Fauci may have even less influence over pro-MAGA Americans than was even considered possible only a few weeks ago. At a press conference Tuesday morning,...

DeSantis Orders All Florida High Schoolers to Participate in Unvaccinated Make-Out Parties

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) has issued an ultimatum to every high school student in his state -- make out with someone who has COVID, or else. "With this order, the people of Florida can rest assured that...

Unvaccinated America First Patriot Refuses to Wear a Mask or Condom While Raw-Dogging His Cousin

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- In an interview soon to be published in American ConservaFascist Today, Jethro Bohiggins -- right-wing podcaster, singer/writer -- says he will never wear a mask, or a condom, while having sex with his cousin,...

The Moron League of America Expels Marjorie Greene Over Anti-Vaxxer Comments

The longest-running association of morons has officially expelled a sitting member of Congress, a first for the organization. In a press release given to media outlets today, the Moron League of America has kicked Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA)...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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