George W. Bush

Hell Does Not Welcome Colin Powell as a Liberator

HELL -- When recently deceased former Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell's soul made it to its final resting place, it was greeted quite warmly, indeed. "Hi, Colin! Really great to see you!...

George W. Bush Pretty Sure He’s Heard of This “Afghanistan” People Keep Talking About

FORT STRATEGERIE, TEXAS -- Since leaving office in 2008, former President George W. Bush has spent a considerable amount of time honing his skill as a portrait painter. While nothing that he's painted will likely be compared to the...

Bush Apologizes for Not Turning Off Bathroom Light or Afghanistan War When He Left the White House

CRAWFORD, TEXAS -- Last week, President Joe Biden shocked many on the Hill when he announced that, after nearly 20 years, the Afghanistan War would draw to a close, and he'd all U.S. troop presence in the country would...

On January 20th, 2021 Trump Will Become The 45th Most Intelligent Former President in History

To say that President Donald Trump undertook a historic presidential term would be quite the understatement. Trump will go down in history as the only president to never win the popular vote. He'll be the only man to win...

Bush Offers to Give Trump ‘Counselship and Tacticalistic Advice’ on Conducting Middle East Wars

DUMPHUQ RANCH, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush, since he left office after his two terms, has maintained a relatively low profile. Despite overseeing two new wars as commander in chief during his time as president, Bush never...

Trump Promises His Middle East War Will ‘Go Just as Good’ as Bush’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's decision to kill a top Iranian military general via drone strike has many on the Hill, and throughout the country, wondering if he's pushed the United States to the brink of war. Should Trump's...

Bush Says Trump Should Know How to Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them on Hurricanes

CABEZA MIERDA, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush left the public spotlight in January of 2009 when Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president. Throughout Obama's two terms, Mr. Bush was usually mum on most subjects....

Former President George Bush Reassured Several Times He’s Not Dead Yet

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Friends, family, and longtime aides to the Bush family have repeatedly had to remind former President George W. Bush that he is not the President George Bush who died last week, and that he does not...

Americans Flood Heaven’s Switchboards Asking If Trump Can Take George HW Bush’s Spot

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway and his son, Jesus Hubert Christ held a holy press conference today from the corporate headquarters of their afterlife timeshare program, telling reporters that all of Trinity, Inc.'s prayer hotlines are...

Secret Service Wants to Question McCain Eulogists For Slaying Trump

//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At this hour, the Secret Service is confirming that they will be reaching out to former Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, as well as Meghan McCain and Joe Lieberman. The...
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George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before...
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