WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In hindsight, her friends and family say that White House senior adviser Kellyanne Conway realizes she made quite a few mistakes in the last four or five years, and that her decision to work with the...
Yesterday, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani -- whose only role in society now is to be President Donald Trump's drunken, self-dick-fondling fixer -- stood with three other Trump campaign lawyers and spent over 90 minutes baselessly accusing everyone...
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If Donald Trump loses his reelection bid, right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Jethro Bohiggins says he's "bigly prepared to make big changes" in his political views.
"I'll tell you what, if our Dear President loses,...
Citizenry of America!
Rejoice! For your goodly King God Emperor, Donald John Trump I, has decreed that today shall be Election Day! Therefore, you are invited and encouraged to take part in the festivities! What other time in your life...
SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden told reporters that if he wins the election next week, he'll ensure a "productive and peaceful transition of power" by...
The fact of the matter is that English, like all language, is an artform and communication tool constantly in a state of evolution. Slang becomes accepted, common vernacular every year. Dictionaries are constantly being updated to ensure that words...
CHINGADERO GORDO, FLORIDA -- Fighting through tears of joy, Lung Cancer told its radio audience today that it was "pleased and excited" to announce that its Stage 4 Limbaugh infection is "nearly over" and that it has "almost run...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout the Hill this morning.
"Oh sweet molasses titties, we need to make sure our Dear American President fully and completely recovers! Outta my way!"
Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten to Ivanka Trump that her father had decided to not participate in the next scheduled...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so upset by what he just figured out that he cried out in anguish, and could be heard from outside his office door.
MORE: Op-Ed: We Need...
