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Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls

This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission. Before the 2016 presidential race, Ted Cruz had a wife named Heidi whose looks had never been the subject of discussion, let alone debate. However, during that campaign, then-candidate...
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Who Got Paid More to Suck Trump’s Dick: Stormy or Jim Jordan?

As far as the world can tell, there are two people who we can reliably assume have sucked Donald...
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