fuckTrump

Trump Campaign Manager Promises His Boss Will ‘Keep America on the White Track’

CHANCHO BANCHO CANYON, ARIZONA -- As he prepares the Donald Trump 2020 machine in Arizona -- a state that has lost one of its Republican Senators since his boss took office -- campaign manager Brad Parscale was seen coming...

Confused Trump Asks First Lady Why FaceApp’s “Old Man” Filter Seems Broken

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the Oval Office this morning, there was quite a kerfuffle. "IVANKA! IVANKA! THIS DAMN OLD FILTER IS DOING SOMETHING DUMB," Trump was heard shouting at his First Lady from inside the room. "I WANTED TO DO...

Barack Obama Explains Why His Labor Secretary Didn’t Step Down Over Coddling a Rich Pedophile

A SECRET SOCIALIST SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA -- Today, President Donald Trump's labor secretary, Alexander Acosta, tendered his resignation. Mr. Trump tweeted the news to the world, and said that Acosta was resigning at least partially because of...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside the rotunda today that he's "sick and tired of the Democrats treating President Trump like he's President Obama." McConnell said that "obstructing Democrat presidents is the solemn duty...

Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA -- This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on two election recounts currently underway in Florida. Mr. Trump's tweet demanded that the recounts currently being tabulated in the governor's race and the race for one of...

Pregnant Russian Woman Unsure Whether Trump Will Let Her Birth Anchor Baby At Mar-A-Lago Now

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Though her bags are all packed and her birth coach has been reserved and paid for since late this summer, 32 year old Olga Petrova says she's now not sure if she should cancel her upcoming...

Trump Warns His Enemies Not to Interfere in Midterms by Voting for Democrats

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With just a matter of days left before Americans head to the polls for the first mid-term election of his presidential tenure, President Donald Trump took to Twitter over the weekend and issued a warning about...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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