Fuck Trump

Trump Blames Antifa for His Small Hands, Mangled Dick, and Obsession with Superior Black Man

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not a very well-kept secret that President Donald Trump wants Americans to fear AntiFa, though privately he's admitted to aides that he's not even sure how to spell it. Recent polling seems to indicate that...

Paramount Alleges Trademark Infringement Against Space Force

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy ripoff" of the emblem that has been used as a trademark for the Star Trek franchise for...

Robertson: “If Jesus Died For Your Sins, The Least You Can Do Is Die For Trump’s Economy!”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson hasn't done much to hide his support for President Donald Trump. Though Christ's teachings were for his disciples to "pay Caesar what is due Caesar and pay God what is due God,"...

Fauci Pronounces Trump ‘Dead From the Neck-Up’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci pronounced the President of the United States of America "dead from the neck-up." MORE: Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With Fauci's pronouncement marks a...

Tulsa MAGA Rally Goers to Take “Protective KKKool-Aid Shot” As They Enter Building

TULSA, OKLAHOMA -- As members of the American MAGAban enter the building to partake in tomorrow night's Trump 2020 klanpaign rally, they'll be directed to several booths. Those booths will be staffed by members of the campaign, and will...

Trump Supporter Tired of Her Husband Klansplaining Everything to Her

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster Jethro Bohiggins and his wife/cousin/sister Janine are on the outs again. That's because Janine says she's "sick and tired of Jethro's bullshit." "This son of a bitch just has keep klansplainin' things to...

Ron Perlman Offers to Cast Ted Cruz In “Go To Hell, Boy”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Actor Ron Perlman has reportedly reached out to a Republican senator and offered him a part in an upcoming movie. It's unclear at this time whether Perlman's offer to to cast Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Rectal...

Trump Bans Ramps, Gentle Declines, Hills, and Slopes

President Donald trump has officially decreed that the United States of America will "no longer have any purple mountains majesty or even greenish little hills."

Trump to Rename Military Bases After Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests over the killing of George Floyd, an unarmed black suspect who died while a Minneapolis police officer knelt on his neck for more than eight minutes, have once more pushed the United States into an...

Big Tech Censorship? Pictures of Trump’s Neck Getting Removed from Facebook

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Representatives from the two largest social media platforms in the world have issued separate statements of apology to the President of the United States after various pictures of him were removed from their websites...
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Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's capitol she's "outraged and incensed"...
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