fuck MAGA

Reality Winner Released from Prison While Reality Denier Still Not President

In 2018, Reality Winner was sentenced to five years in prison for, as an NSA contractor, leaking information on Russian hacking attempts to the media. It was one of the most high-profile cases handled by the Department of Justice...

Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some good news for a change. The COVID-19 pandemic is still raging throughout the country, with enormous portions of the economy still under at least some form of restriction...

Local Idiot Still President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The town idiot is still the President of the United States of America, at least according to the rules of the U.S. Constitution. MORE: Trump: “Ivanka and I Fell In Love With Thighland on Our Honeymoon” Whether or...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Remove Trump’s White House Wall

DELAWARE -- The Joe Biden presidential campaign received a letter from the Federal Government of Mexico today, offering to assist covering any costs incurred to remove the new fence, or wall, that President Donald Trump has erected around the...

4 out of 5 Morons Agree: Trump is a Good President

A new scientific study indicates that 80% of all morons agree that Donald J. Trump, the guy who was a D-List reality TV competition show host just five years ago, is a "good" president. More: Americans Designate MAGA a Terrorist...

Doctors Discover Fatal Rectal Cancer in Department of Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Doctors in the nation's capital discovered what they're calling the "most aggressive, repugnant, fatal rectal cancer" of their collective medical careers in the Department of Justice this morning. During routine screenings, D.C. medical staff found stage 15...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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