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Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren are confirming at the time of publication that she is in stable condition, but still in a rage-induced coma at a Texas hospital, following an incident in which...

Trump’s CPAC Flag Asks Why He ‘Couldn’t He Have Just Taken a Knee Instead’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative Political Action Conference -- and gave a barn burning, two-hour long monologue that often times veered off script into the bizarre and unhinged. At...

Trumper Buys $45,000 Worth In Nike Socks To Burn In Boycott

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Clem O'Connell told his audience today that he racked up tens of thousands of dollars buying Nike brand socks to burn as part of the growing boycott of the athletic wear...

Flags And McCain’s War Boner at Half Mast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From sea to shining sea, from New York to California, from red states to blue states to confederate states that vote like red states, all over the U.S., American flags are being lowered to half mast,...

Leading Graduating Kindergartners, Trump Briefly Forgets Words to Pledge of Allegiance

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump experienced a brief moment of confusion when leading a local graduating kindergarten class in the Pledge of Allegiance. In a harrowing 95 minute ordeal, Mr. Trump stumbled on the phrase "indivisible, with...

Trump: Meals on Wheels Cuts Will Cover Cost of Flying Pence Around Country Making a Show of Getting Offended by Constitution

Vice President Mike Pence will continue to fly around to NFL stadiums protesting protests of the national anthem during the national anthem.

Football Fan Burns NFL Gear Worth 10 Years of Blue State Supported Welfare Protesting Protests

"The problem with this country is in the goddamned first amendment!"

Trump: Meals on Wheels Cuts Will Cover Cost of Flying Pence Around Country Making a Show of Getting Offended by Constitution

Vice President Mike Pence will continue to fly around to NFL stadiums protesting protests of the national anthem during the national anthem.

Shaken Mike Pence Seen Exiting Colts Game Wrapped in American Flag and Being Consoled by Bald Eagle

As Vice President Mike Pence was seen making his exit from yesterday's Colts game, witnesses saw him being consoled by a bald eagle.

White Woman Just Wishes Black Man Would Peacefully Request To Not Be Murdered In Some Less Noticeable Way

One white woman understands why NFL players are kneeling and even agrees with their cause, but doesn't like how they're protesting.
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George Santos Announces Kitara Ravache Will Handle His Committee Assignments

Congressman George Santos (Q-NY) has had a pretty rough start to his freshman year in the House of Representatives. Before...
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