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46th Smartest President Allowed Back on Facebook and Instagram

Citing their policy to be "open to humans of all intelligence levels," Meta has announced that they will lift their ban, and the 46th smartest President of the United States will be allowed to post on Facebook and Instagram...

If Musk Gets Controlling Stake, The First Thing He’ll Do Is Change Twitter’s Name

Billionaire Elon Musk recently purchased enough shares of Twitter to hold just under 10% of the total. It's not enough for him to gain a controlling interest in the social media company, however rumors are that Mr. Musk is...

Man Kicked Off Truth Social for Posting The Sky is Blue and Donald Trump Lost the 2020 Election

https://youtu.be/PXuWdhvzGx8 Donald Trump's new social media venture officially launched this week with less than stellar performance results. While Truth Social was a top download in the Apple App Store on its first day of publication, thousands of users reported that...

Don’t Worry! You Can Still Follow MTG on Twitter for Horses.

These days, it can be really difficult to find a consistent and reliable source of verbal diarrhea, COVID disinformation, and unrelenting right-wing religious extremist rhetoric. So when a major social media company de-platforms such a font of stupidity, it...

Meta Nazis Have Already Meta Infested Facebook’s Newly Rebranded “Meta”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last week, Facebook announced that it was rebranding, and would be known henceforth as "Meta." The corporate name change comes after years of intense scrutiny from governments across the globe. More than one western nation...

Facebook Hopes Rebranding Itself “WhiteNationalistDumpsterFireBook” Helps Somehow

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facing mounting pressure after a slew of reputation damaging news stories, social media giant Facebook is in the midst of planning and implementing a total rebranding, including changing its name. Speculation began almost immediately...

Zuckerberg: “Why Would We Take Our Network Down to Scrub It After The Whistleblower’s Report?”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- For hours yesterday, white nationalists, conservative Baby Boomers, and anti-vaxxers were left without access to their preferred social media platform. Facebook was down and inaccessible for much of the work day, and in fact...

Whiny Snowflake Troll Suing Twitter and Facebook for Having Rules He Refused to Follow

DIPPSHITT, NEW JERSEY -- In front of a small group of his friends, a whiny snowflake and former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached president announced that he was suing Twitter and Facebook for having rules they reluctantly enforced on him, which...

Facebook Says Trump Has to Wait Two Years Before Trying to Use It to Subvert Democracy Again

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facebook announced today that former President Donald Trump's suspension will continue for two years, after which he is "free to attempt to subvert democracy" on their platform. "We think that it's totally probable that Donald...

Facebook Rolls Out Middle Finger Reaction for Ted Cruz’s Posts

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facebook will add a brand new feature over the next few weeks that management hopes will "enhance and enrich" user experience. "We know you already really enjoy our Like, Love, Care, Haha, Sad, and Angry reactions,...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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