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If Musk Gets Controlling Stake, The First Thing He’ll Do Is Change Twitter’s Name

Billionaire Elon Musk recently purchased enough shares of Twitter to hold just under 10% of the total. It's not enough for him to gain a controlling interest in the social media company, however rumors are that Mr. Musk is...

Whiny Snowflake Troll Suing Twitter and Facebook for Having Rules He Refused to Follow

DIPPSHITT, NEW JERSEY -- In front of a small group of his friends, a whiny snowflake and former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached president announced that he was suing Twitter and Facebook for having rules they reluctantly enforced on him, which...

Whiny Cunt Won’t Stop Complaining About Social Media on Social Media

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't have to tweet. There is no clause in the United States Constitution that requires any social media company, much less Twitter, to give an account to the president. Historically, the American people have looked...

Zuckerberg Explains Why Facebook Calls “White Tr*sh” and “Sister F**ker” Hate Speech, But Hate Speech Is Not Called Hate Speech

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Today, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told a group of investors on a conference call that his platform will continue to punish users who type the phrase "white trash" or make jokes about someone having...

KKK’s Stormfront Added to Facebook News

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Facebook News debuted for a select group of users of the social media platform. During the 2016 presidential election, Facebook was weaponized by propagandists and agitators to take advantage of its algorithm and...

Mark Zuckerberg Enters 20th Hour Explaining To Chuck Grassley That He’s Not The “You’ve Got Mail” Guy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A very patient and stoic Mark Zuckerberg, CEO and co-founder of Facebook, is still sitting in the same chair he sat down in almost a full day ago, explaining to a Republican senator who he is,...

Man On 30 Day Facebook Suspension Didn’t Steal Anyone’s Data, He Just Shared A Tide Pod Meme

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA -- At the time of publication, Jim Shlarmensch has 23 days, 17 hours, 43 minutes, and 28 seconds left on his Facebook suspension. Users of the world's largest social media platform call it being in "Facebook...

Gun Enthusiast ‘Pissed’ He Has to Sell Guns Out of His Trunk and Not Facebook Now

Facebook has banned private gun sales on their website, and this man is pissed.

Man Who Got Ass Kicked By Obama Sad Obama Reminded Everyone About It

Mitt Romney was defeated mightily in the 2012 presidential election, and he's not very happy that President Obama reminded the country of that in his State of the Union.

Facebook to Extend Content Labeling Beyond Satire

Facebook has decided it didn't go far enough to condescend to its users in labeling satirical content as "satire," and have decided to label more content based on presumed intelligence level.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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