Elizabeth Warren

Can Getting Hair Plugs Also Cure Your Rich Cuntitis?

One thing is clear about them -- hair plugs will make it look like you never lost your hair in the first place. Hair transplant technology has been on the market for decades, and many people have taken advantage...

Sen. Warren Proposes 80% ‘Billionaire Twatwaffle Tax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) unveiled legislation that would institute a new 80% tax on all all wealth accumulated by, as Warren describes them, "billionaire twatwaffles." "Not trying to single any one, singular billionaire twatwaffle out...

Moderate Democrat Worried She’ll Have to Vote for Candidate Who Supports Policies She Says She Cares About Too

MT. FECKLESS, ILLINOIS -- 43 year old Suzie Susanton is a lifelong registered Democrat. She comes from a working class background, and has always been a supporter of equality "in every sense of the word," she says. For years,...

DNC: “We’re Not Taking Any Sides Except Against Candidates We Don’t Want You to Want”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee released a statement today, perhaps in an attempt to head off criticism that it's working to give former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg (D-Cash) any advantage it can. It was announced...

Dear Grandpa and Mom: When Are You Two Going to Stop Fighting?

The following is an open letter submitted to this publication anonymously. We are reprinting it in its entirety. When are you and Grandpa going to stop fighting, Mom? When are you going to stop arguing with Mom, Grandpa? Everyone's entitled to their...

POLL: Most Americans Hope Sanders and Warren Fans Remember How God Awful Trump Is

A new poll released this morning shows that the overwhelming majority of Americans aren't taking a side in a brewing dustup between two leading, rival candidates for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination. This week, tensions started to flare between the...

Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The idea of "Medicare for All" -- expanding the United States' low cost healthcare program for the elderly and working poor -- to all Americans is nowhere near a new issue. Not even when Bernie Sanders was...

2020 Democratic Contender Hopes She’s as Likable as Rage-Tweeting Racist, White Collar Crook She’d Be Facing

GOLD HILLS, CALIFORNIA -- Maybe you haven't heard of Cheryl Tulipson yet, but she was hoping that by the time she ran for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination, you'd know more about her -- and thus give her self-admitted...

John Barron, David Dennison, and Trump’s Tax Lawyer Issue Joint Statement: Liz Warren Is A Fraud

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's tax attorney has joined together with Mr. John Barron and Mr. David Dennison to roundly condemn Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) of being a "bigly and obvious fraud." Warren set the Internet on fire this...

Trump Releases DNA Test Showing He’s 99.9% Diarrhea and Racism

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours after Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) released results of a DNA test that showed she does indeed have Cherokee heritage, President Donald Trump released the results of his own DNA testing. "The results are undeniably conclusive,"...
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
- Advertisement -spot_img