elections

Man: “You’re Voting for the Wrong Person You Fucking Idiot”

The following is an editorial opinion piece written by Dick Whistler, a local man who has all sorts of political opinions that he feels should also be your political opinions. The views and opinions expressed by Mr. Whistler do...

Trump: Putin Likes Watching Him Collude With Other Foreign Leaders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Toadstool Phallus assured a nervous and worried American electorate this morning that reports of his attempts to collude with the new president of the Ukraine are being "taken completely out of context" and that they...

Trump Hires Detective to Find Mitch McConnell’s Russian Birth Certificate and Destroy It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he has decided to hire and "personally not pay for" a private detective to locate and destroy the Russian birth certificate belonging to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. "I had no...

Pelosi Offers McConnell Voter ID Laws for Voter IQ Laws

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For years, the Republican Party has been behind a push to institute voter ID laws in as many states as they could. Under the guise of securing elections, the GOP has long argued that in-person voter...

Retailers Report Sharp Decline in Post-Halloween Democrat Disguise Sales

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The National Retailers Consortium, one of the country's oldest commerce associations, has released some rather interesting findings of a report they commissioned last week, and it's unclear at this time what the findings indicate...

Kellyanne Conway: Gillespie Loss in Virginia An Alternative Win for Trump

"We see this as not a defeat, but an alternative win."

Trump Signs Declaration Congratulating His Son Eric For Pooping In the Potty Like a Big Boy

Eric Trump may be a liability to his father, but now that he's figured out how to go to the potty like a big boy, he's a little less of one.

Rick Perry Gets In Line Expecting Sandwich, Winds-Up Running for President Too

Rick Perry was just looking for a bite to eat, but he decided to run for president while he was at it.

Jeb Bush Asks Incredible Hulk To Advise His Campaign on ‘Gently Tickling People’

Jeb Bush wasn't done making nonsensical hires when he appointed his brother Dubya as one of his foreign policy advisers.

Harry Reid Looks Forward to a Whole New Job Accomplishing Nothing and Not Being Very Well Liked

Harry Reid is leaving the senate, headed for greener, still ineffective pastures.
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Latest News

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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