elections

Scientist Thinks She Can Prove Madison Cawthorn’s Body is Hosting Timothy McVeigh’s Spirit

POOPSCOOP, VIRGINIA -- Dr. Henrietta Kittenz wrote on her popular blog, devoted to biology and science, that she has undertaken a study she thinks could "shed some really interesting light" on one particular member of Congress. "What my study seems...

7 Out of 10 Republicans Want to Give Monarchy a Try Instead

During a press conference today, Jenelle Beenflik discussed the results of a new opinion poll conducted by We Poll You So Hard in cooperation with NPR. Beenflik, We Poll You's deputy assistant media coordinator, described the survey as the "most informative look inside...

Cruz Warns ‘Democrats Might Be Allowed to Count Every Vote’ if For the People Act Passes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Republicans are quite nervous as a group about the For the People Act, which is the first real attempt Congress has made to restore the Voting Rights Act of 1968 that was gutted by the...

The Time Someone Bought an Election With Bottles of Water

Maybe Republicans have a reason to be suspicious of people getting bottled water while waiting in line to vote.

GA Republicans Propose Segregated Voting Booths

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Republicans in the State of Georgia are not quite yet done tinkering with the Peach State's voting laws. A new law working its way through the legislature in the state would create newly segregated voting booths,...

Republicans Race to Make Democrat Voting Illegal by 2024

How does a dying party stay relevant? Make it impossible for the other side to win, no matter how many votes they get.

Heartbroken Trump Boys Think They Have to Call Joe Biden “Daddy” Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump acknowledges his stinging, definitive defeat at the hands of the U.S. electorate is still a question of much debate and conjecture. However, there are signs within Trump World...

A Handy Guide for Determining How Many of the Votes to Count in a Close Election

Democracy, so confusing, am I right? There are so many intricate levels to running an election that it's no surprise sometimes we all get a little confused about how they work. That phenomenon seems particularly acute when an election...

Trump Says North Carolina Republicans Should Vote Every Day Between Now and Election

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is illegal for anyone to attempt to cast more than one ballot in a federal election, but that hasn't stopped President Donald Trump from encouraging the people of North Carolina to give it a shot...

CDC Suggests ‘Electoral Distancing’ From Trump Administration

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Over the past week and a half, Americans were introduced to new, but extremely vital phrase for their lexicons -- "social distancing." It's the practice of keeping a good, healthy distance from others. Medical experts have recommended...
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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