Biden ‘Not Likely’ to Continue Presidential Tradition of Staring Straight Into an Eclipse

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Every four years, the United States of America holds a presidential election, and whoever wins the most votes in the Electoral College (not necessarily the most votes overall), becomes the next president on January 20th of...

After Biden is Sworn In, Trump Will Be The 45th Most Intelligent Former President Ever

A version of this story also appeared on To say that President Donald Trump undertook a historic presidential term would be quite the understatement. Trump is the only president to never win the popular vote. While it is true that...

Trump Drinks Bleach, Tucker Carlson Calls It ‘Second Most Impressive Thing’ Any President Has Done

There is nothing Donald Trump does that is wrong, bad, stupid, dangerous, or idiotic. At least according to super unbiased Tucker Carlson.

Trump Says He Was Depressed Not Being The One Blocking All The Light During Eclipse

President Donald J. Trump admitted to aides this morning that he took his eclipse viewer glasses off because he was distracted by his depression.
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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