Pat Robertson Says California Earthquake Was God Clapping for Trump’s 4th of July Parade

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Though he didn't give his Independence Day speech until hours later after the initial shockwaves subsided, President Donald Trump triggered an earthquake in California yesterday when God applauded him earlier in the day. At least that's...

4 Out of 5 Geologists Agree You Are Probably A Seismic Douche

A recent study of geologists from 42 different countries has revealed something quite remarkable -- most of them think you're probably a douche. In fact, 80% of respondents to the University of Green River in Holy Oak, Virginia's study of...

Mexico’s President: “When America Sends Its Condolences, It Doesn’t Send Them From Their Best”

After an earthquake devastated Mexico yesterday, Trump sent his condolences. Which Mexico was happy-ish to accept...kinda.
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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