Dr. Fauci

Fauci Warns MAGAs: You Can Get Omicron from Cousin Despite Taking Ivermectin or Wearing Condom

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Appearing before the Senate Oversight and Pumpkin Pie Recipe Committee this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci warned Americans to "take caution" in preparing for their holiday gatherings and reunions. Fauci had ominous words for those living in...

Greene: Car Seat Laws are ‘Tyranny’ and Parents Should ‘Resist’ Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Cloven-footed freshman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told a group of maskless, pro-MAGA churchgoers this morning that she believes the "government has gotten too used to bein' all tyrannical and stuff," and she says it's "high...

Fauci Pronounces Trump ‘Dead From the Neck-Up’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci pronounced the President of the United States of America "dead from the neck-up." MORE: Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With Fauci's pronouncement marks a...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is a "flaming douchebag with absolutely shitty hair." At least that's true according to one of America's leading and most influential medical experts, Dr. Anthony Fauci. MORE:...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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