DonaldTrump

Crypt Keeper Going As Kellyanne Conway For Halloween This Year

KASSIR FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- Each year, residents The Crypt Keeper's sleepy California town take bets on what he'll be for Halloween, and this year he's announced his costume will once again have a satirically political theme -- Senior Trump...

Trump Hereby Orders Constitution’s References to “Impeachment” Changed to “Coup “

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, The Archduke of D-List Reality TV Hosts His Royal Highness the Emperor King President of the United States tweeted the hashtag #StoptheCoup to his 66 million Twitter followers. His Majesty the King has been...

Mulvaney: “There Wasn’t a Quid Pro Quo, But Also There Was, and Yet There Wasn’t, But Even There Was, Shut Up. Also There Wasn’t.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A visibly shaken and confused Mick Mulvaney, acting Chief of Staff for President Donald J. Trump, gave reporters an even more paradoxical and contradictory accounting of the now infamous July 2019 call between his boss and...

Trump Accuses Democrats of Trying to Steal an Election By Getting More Votes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the battle over impeachment rages on, President Donald Trump has amplified his angry invective against House Democrats who he says are "attacking" him with "reckless accountability and egregious checks and balances." Trump has repeatedly tried...

Pro-MAGA YouTube Star Says Dems Can’t Impeach President Without ‘Blowie’ In the Oval Office

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE  -- Jethro Bohiggins is a right-wing YouTube star and singer/songwriter who is absolutely steadfast in his support of President Donald Trump and his "MAGA" agenda. Bohiggins is a frequent contributor to AltFacts, and recently he appeared on The...

Insufferable, Sweaty, Lying Idiot Holds Minnesota’s Largest Klan Rally

Officials from Minnesota are confirming this morning that last night an insufferable, sweaty, lying idiot held the largest klan rally the North Star State has ever witnessed. While it's unclear if the klan has ever held any of its...

Trump Reminds China It’s His Job to Stifle Black American Athletes’ Free Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump sent a strongly worded letter, addressed simply "2 CHINA," urging them to quit pressuring the National Basketball Association, its teams, and its players, into stifling criticism of their policies toward Hong Kong. Over...

Trump Defends Abandoning Kurds Because They Didn’t Help The U.S. in Revolutionary War

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say that President Donald Trump's presidency is in peril would be an understatement.  The House of Representatives, under the control of Trump's opposing party, is in the midst of an impeachment inquiry. While the president may...

Trey Gowdy: “How Can You Impeach Trump When He Wasn’t Even Involved in Benghazi?”

AMOR DU COUSIN, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy is no stranger to fights between the Executive and Legislative branches of the U.S. government. While Barack Obama was president, Gowdy spearheaded more than one multimillion dollar investigation into...

President’s Legal Team to Sue U.S. Constitution for Giving Democrats ‘Unconstitutional’ Impeachment Powers

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- The White House announced today that President Donald Trump's outside legal team is preparing paperwork to be filed in federal court, bringing a lawsuit to bear against the literal U.S. Constitution. Trump's team, which reportedly just...
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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