Donald Trump

Mark Meadows Signals Intent to Plead the Filth Before January 6th Committee

Former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, through his attorney, has made the House Select Committee investigating the events of January 6th, 2021 aware that he will no longer be cooperating with them. Instead, Meadows' attorney told reporters, he...

Devin Nunes Retiring from Congress to Spend More Time With Trump’s Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressfuck Devin Nunes announced yesterday that he will not seek re-election next year. Many speculated that Nunes was motivated by California's independent congressional redistricting commission's new map that should make his own district lean Democratic. However, this...

Sexual Predator Poised to Give Rapists More Parental Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, one of America's most famous and successful sexual predators, finds himself in quite a unique position. Should he decide to do so, Kavanaugh can help the other five conservative justices on...

Ted Cruz Says He’ll Stand Under the Mistletoe With Trump If Ivanka Won’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a weekly press conference held by Senate Republicans, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) was asked for his thoughts on whether former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Don Trump should run for his party's nomination again...

Data Indicates Brandon Gets Shit Done and Trump Didn’t Do Shit

Newly released data from the National Institute of Looking Into This Sorta Thing doesn't have much good news for a certain twice-forever impeached president who never won the popular vote and only got one term. According to a report published...

Judge Says Bannon May Have Conjugal Visits With Both MTG and Dan Bongino

WASHINGTON, D.C -- A federal judge has granted permission to indicted former White House senior policy adviser Stephen Bannon to have conjugal visits while he awaits trial. Mr. Bannon appeared in court to surrender himself, after being indicted by...

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold another MAGA rally, and the venue might not be all that surprising to anyone. "I hereby decree as your once King and Ruler, that I shall...

Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By the Letters “C-U-N-T”

Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform and teach young kids about the world around them, as well as to instruct them in basic literacy. In the 1970's, the show helped a...

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President Don Trump than Rep. Gym Jordan (Q-OH). Jordan's devotion to Trump is so complete that even now, nine months after Joe Biden was sworn in, and...
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Mark Meadows Signals Intent to Plead the Filth Before January 6th Committee

Former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, through his attorney, has made the House Select Committee investigating the...
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