North Bloomfield, CA -- In what his friends are calling a remarkable change of events, local malcontent and self-proclaimed dickhead Don Vaca has announced that he is giving up his old dickhead ways for a new and reborn dickhead...
CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no longer be in the business of selling phallic replacement devices, in the wake of one the country's most popular stand-in penises being used to murder...