Department of Education

The Political Garbage Chute

DeVos To Strike More Than 4.5 Billion Years Of Earth’s History From School Curriculum

James Schlarmann -
New Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants history books to contain only the bare, biblical essentials and nothing else...literally.
AlternativelyFacts

Betsy DeVos Proposes Changing Congressional Library To “Lieberry Of Congress”

James Schlarmann -
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos will not just take a passive role in educating our children. She will seek reforms everywhere.
The Political Garbage Chute

Betsy DeVos: “I Don’t Care About Women Getting Raped Until God Makes a Baby With It”

James Schlarmann -
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos recently told attendees at a prayer breakfast why she ended Obama era guidelines for campus sexual assault.
The Political Garbage Chute

Trump Orders DeVos to Hire Breitbart and InfoWars to Revise History Textbooks

James Schlarmann -
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has announced a new textbook partnership between her department and two right-wing media outlets.
The Political Garbage Chute

DeVos Wants School Held One Day A Week, In One Specific Building In Every Town

James Schlarmann -
To save money in a number of different ways, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants some radical new changes made to public schools.
The Political Garbage Chute

DeVos, Pence Want To Give Teachers The Freedom To Teach Their Classes In Tongues

James Schlarmann -
Secretary of Education DeVos and Vice-President Mike Pence want to give teachers the ability to each in any language - or tongue - they want to.
The Political Garbage Chute

Congressional Republican Cites Runaway Spending As Why Transgender And Poor Kids Should Suffer

James Schlarmann -
One Republican in Congress has made an attempt to explain why his party made two huge moves that deeply impacted children this week.
The Political Garbage Chute

Betsy DeVos Wants 3 R’s Officially Changed To “Reading, Reciting, and Regurgitating The Bible”

James Schlarmann -
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants schools to get back to the basics. As in, the very, very basics. As in, one book for all classes.
The Political Garbage Chute

Betsy DeVos Proposes Changing Congressional Library To “Lieberry Of Congress”

James Schlarmann -
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos will not just take a passive role in educating our children. She will seek reforms everywhere.
The Political Garbage Chute

DeVos Orders Her New Educational Proclamations Hammered To Every School’s Outside Walls

James Schlarmann -
During the DeVos Era, American schools will be required to ensure that every student and parent sees educational decrees as they enter class.
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(All Content is Satirical)