Democratic Debate

DNC Says Next Presidential Debate Will Be Bare Chested Brawl Between Biden and Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee has decided that the next debate in the 2020 primary season will be a bare chested brawl between the two aging white men still in the contest.  "When former Vice President Joe Biden...

Five Humans and Two Billionaires Hold Two Hour Shouting Match

SOUTH CAROLINA -- Last night, five human beings and two billionaires held a two-hour long shouting match. The seven entities on the stage each took turn not taking turns and yelling over each other. Sometimes the old men would...

Bloomberg Will Pay You $15,000 and a New Tesla to Tell People He Won The Debate

DESERT SPRINGS, NEVADA -- Last night, former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg made his first appearance on the Democratic primary debate stage. All the other candidates seemed to be quite geared up for his debut, and one after...

Marianne Williamson: “Make No Mistake, I’ll Ram These Crystals Right Up Donald Trump’s Puckered A**hole!”

CHAKRA FALLS, IDAHO -- Before her appearance on the first televised Democratic primary debate stage a couple of weeks ago, it's likely that most Americans had absolutely no idea that author Marianne Williamson was running for president. They might...

Trump Confident Putin Won’t Lose to Anyone on Democratic Debate Stage

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters on the south lawn of the White House on his way out to big up a deep fried hot dog and liverwurst sandwich, President Donald Trump told the press he watched the first...

Marianne Williamson: “Make No Mistake, I’ll Ram These Aura Crystals Right Up Donald Trump’s Puckered A**hole!”

CHAKRA FALLS, IDAHO -- Before her appearance on the debate stage last night, it's likely that most Americans had absolutely no idea that author Marianne Williamson was running for president. They might not have known she was a Democrat,...

Biden/Sanders to Form The Decibelcrat Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, NBC News hosted the second consecutive night of the first round of debates in the 2020 Democratic presidential primary season. But while many this morning are talking about who "won" or who "lost" the...

Republican Voter ‘Majorly Turned Off’ by Lack of Genital Talk, Booger Eating in Dem Debate

One Republican voter tells us why the lack of genital talk in the Dem Debate made it a total borefest.

Town Republican Confused by Lack of Phobias in Democratic Debate

One Republican's confused reaction to the last Democratic debate.

DNC Agrees to ‘Make Hillary Look Good’ on TV More

The DNC has agreed to help HIllary Clinton look good on TV a few more times.
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Latest News

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How didĀ thisĀ end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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