Death Star

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT -- Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin the Rebel Alliance. Despite visual evidence that his highly-touted Death Star was blown to smithereens by a ragtag bunch of bush pilots exploiting a design flaw in the...

Trump: Space Force Converting the Moon Into a Death Star

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of Mueller, once Supreme Chancellor Trump has taken on the self-titled mantle of Emperor, and has announced that his mighty Space Force is already carrying out a new order...

President Trump Designates Trappist-1 Solar System As Construction Site For Death Star

The newly discovered exoplanets in the TRAPPIST-1 solar system will be the construction site for a new American battle station.

Putin Asks Trump To Oversee Final Construction Of Large Battle Station In First Hundred Days

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reprotedly reached out to President-Elect Donald Trump to personally oversee a construction project.

5 Ways Obama Has Totally Destroyed the Constitution

How has Obama destroyed the Constitution? We have five ways right here, pal.

5 Subjects Dick Cheney Discussed With House Republicans

Dick Cheney met with House Republicans last week. So what did he discuss with the misanthropic ne'r-do-anythings?
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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