David Avocado Wolfe

Gwyneth Paltrow and David Avocado Wolfe Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been "contained" in the United States, President Donald Trump is still hiring trained professional medical experts for the coronavirus response team led by Vice President High...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because the turbines necessary kill a lot of birds and the noise they make could even cause cancer. It is not a new attack on Big...

Trump Appoints David Avocado Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his cabinet has been fully confirmed, President Donald Trump isn't quite done filling important jobs at the federal level. This morning Trump announced that he has directed the Food and Drug Administration to create a new,...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because the turbines necessary kill a lot of birds and the noise they make could even cause cancer. It is not a new attack on Big...

David Avocado Wolfe Clinging to Life After Accidental Crystal Chakra Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that lifestyle coach, nutrition guru, and the World's Most Enlightened and Wizened Man, David "Avocado" Wolfe is in critical but stable condition following what appears to...

David “Avocado” Wolfe Named FDA High Wizard Chieftain Of Raw Foods And Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced that he has created and filled a new important position in the federal government, today from the Oval Office. This morning, Trump announced that he has directed the Food and Drug Administration to...

David Avocado Wolfe In Critical Condition After Apparent Accidental Crystal Chakra Voodoo Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at this time that lifestyle coach, nutrition guru, and the World's Most Enlightened and Wizened Man, David "Avocado" Wolfe is in critical but stable condition following what appears to...

Trump Appoints David “Avocado” Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump announced that he has directed the Food and Drug Administration to create a new, special post and he intends to fill it with nutritionist David "Avocado" Wolfe. Trump has cozied up to...

Trump Appoints David “Avocado” Wolfe FDA High Wizard Chieftain of Raw Foods and Woo

President Donald Trump has tapped nutritionist David Avocado Wolfe for a new and important role at the Food and Drug Administration.
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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