Darth Vader

The Pastiche Post

Emperor Palpatine Tells Vader He Doesn’t Want Any Shithole Planets Joining The Empire

James Schlarmann -
CORUSCANT, INNER CORE -- Sources close to the High Galactic Emperor Sheev Palpatine are reporting at the time of publication that he has directed his right-hand, Lord Darth Vader, to not allow any "shithole planets" into the Empire. "I have...
MAGA News

President Trump Designates Trappist-1 Solar System As Construction Site For Death Star

James Schlarmann -
The newly discovered exoplanets in the TRAPPIST-1 solar system will be the construction site for a new American battle station.
MAGA News

Putin Asks Trump To Oversee Final Construction Of Large Battle Station In First Hundred Days

James Schlarmann -
Russian President Vladimir Putin has reprotedly reached out to President-Elect Donald Trump to personally oversee a construction project.
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Latest News

ImmigrationJames Schlarmann -

MTG Claims She Saw Leprechauns Planting Pots of Gold Near Southern Border

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told the House Subcommittee on Racist Nationalism today that while she was visiting the...
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(All Content is Satirical)