DeSantis Orders All Florida High Schoolers to Participate in Unvaccinated Make-Out Parties

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) has issued an ultimatum to every high school student in his state -- make out with someone who has COVID, or else. "With this order, the people of Florida can rest assured that...

CDC: Increased Risk of COVID Infection After Exposure to Blathering, Right-Wing Morons

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The CDC held an urgent press conference this morning during which Dr. Allison Cooper stopped just short of begging Americans to turn off Fox News, OAN, and NewsMax. "At this point in time, what we can say...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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