COVID-19

McDitzydick Clarifies: “The President Didn’t Downplay COVID, He Just Played It Down!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say it was a tough day for the Trump administration would be quite the understatement because the story of the day was recorded audio of the president admitting that he was lying to the American...

Satan Regrets Not Jerking Off In Time To Save Herman Cain’s Life

HELL -- Former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain has died, having lost his month-long battle with COVID-19. Cain, who rose to national prominence in 2012 when he attempted to secure the GOP's presidential nomination to challenge Barack Obama, infamously...

Dr. Stella Immanuel to Head Up New White House Coronavirus and Demon Sperm Task Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has disbanded his first coronavirus task force, but has reconvened a second one with most of the same personnel, with one major change. MORE: President Retweets Breitbart Article Claiming COVID Can Be Cured with...

President Retweets Breitbart Article Claiming COVID Can Be Cured with Trump Steaks

Twitter has removed tweets that were retweeted by President Donald Trump this morning. One was a retweet of a video that has come under heavy scrutiny in which a woman claiming to be a doctor touts the effectiveness of...

Unknown White House Official Tried Convincing Trump COVID-19 Was Obama’s Idea

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To many outside observers, it appears that President Donald Trump is "over" the COVID-19 pandemic. Long gone are the times of daily press conferences from his coronavirus task force, and whenever he speaks of the pandemic...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked and flown into the World Trade Center in New York, as well as into the Pentagon. The Al Qaeda linked hijackers also took over a plane that was...

Ford CEO: Trump Wore Angry, Spray-Tanned, Vagina Necked, Racist Orangutan Mask on Factory Floor

YPSILANTI, MICHIGAN -- Jim Hackett, CEO of the Ford Motor Company, told reporters today during his visit to the Ford plant in Ypsilanti yesterday, President Donald Trump did, in fact, wear a mask. The mask the president wore, according...

Hannity: “If Trump Had Been President During the Civil War, We Would’ve Won It”

PHARDT CLOUD, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Sean Hannity told listeners of his radio show this morning that he believes President Donald J. Trump will "go down in the history books as one of the greatest wartime presidents...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is a "flaming douchebag with absolutely shitty hair." At least that's true according to one of America's leading and most influential medical experts, Dr. Anthony Fauci. MORE:...

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen in the 244 year history of the nation when a 73 year old, six-foot tall baby threw a huge tantrum and stormed out of a press conference in...
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Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning that he would be flying to Moscow this...
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