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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
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Science & Medicine

Experts Weigh-In: Will Your 10 Year Old’s 5G Reception Improve After Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine?

Yesterday, an FDA panel voted unanimously to recommend authorization of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine...
Science & Medicine

DeSantis Offers $5,000 to Any Cop With COVID That Makes Out With Him

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- The Governor of Florida is bound and determined to get police...
Science & Medicine

Boebert Demands to Know Why FDA Still Hasn’t Approved Bleach Injection Booster

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) counts herself among some of the most...
Science & Medicine

“Small Government” Governor Dictates to Private Companies What They Can Do About COVID-19

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- "Herp derp! Me small government conservative! Me hate socialism! Me want...
Science & Medicine

COVID-19 Desperately Googling “How to Prevent Being Drugged and Date Raped”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's something that COVID-19 was sure it would never have to...
Science & Medicine

Med Tech Company Develops “Trump 5000” Ventilator With Built-In MAGA Hat

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A company that specializes in designing medical technology announced...
Science & Medicine

Cruz: “As Soon as Trump Gives Them Back, I’ll Know If Getting Vaccinated Changed My Balls”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, noted virologist and "Wet Ass Pussy" composer Nicki Minaj...
U.S. Politics

AZ Election Auditors Claim Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Switched Votes to Biden

RUBEVILLE, ARIZONA -- This week Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by the Arizona Republican...
Science & Medicine

Irony: He Took Preventative Ivermectin. COVID Kept Him From a Hospital Bed After a Heart Attack.

BUBONIC FALLS, IDAHO -- 56-year-old Peter Peterson is in dire trouble, and it appears...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Interview Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Balls on Tonight’s Show

"I really think it makes sense for a dick like me to interview a...
Science & Medicine

New Policy Lets DeSantis Punch Kids in the Mouth for Wearing a Mask

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- A new policy instituted by Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) allows him...
Science & Medicine

All The Ways You’re Not An Idiot For Comparing Federal Labor Guidelines on Vaccinations to the Holocaust

So, you find yourself outraged and incensed that your government doesn't function like it's...
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)