COVID-19

Experts Weigh-In: Will Your 10 Year Old’s 5G Reception Improve After Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine?

Yesterday, an FDA panel voted unanimously to recommend authorization of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine for children ages 5 to 11 years old. It represents a key milestone in the global pandemic, and offers even more opportunities for life to...

DeSantis Offers $5,000 to Any Cop With COVID That Makes Out With Him

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- The Governor of Florida is bound and determined to get police officers unvaccinated against COVID-19 to consider moving to his state. Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q), who keeps assuring his constituents he's not eyeing a 2024 presidential bid,...

Boebert Demands to Know Why FDA Still Hasn’t Approved Bleach Injection Booster

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) counts herself among some of the most strident and outspoken followers and devotees of the MAGA political movement. Ms. Boebert, who up to the point she was elected to Congress was most...

COVID-19 Desperately Googling “How to Prevent Being Drugged and Date Raped”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's something that COVID-19 was sure it would never have to worry about, but now it's all it can think about. Upon finding out that Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh would be spending some very close,...

Tucker Carlson Will Interview Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Balls on Tonight’s Show

"I really think it makes sense for a dick like me to interview a couple of nuts." - Tucker Carlson Tonight, Fox News host and white supremacist Tucker Carlson will have a guest that is sure to make headlines the...

Urologist Fears America’s Penis May Never Fully Recover from COVID-19 Delta Surge

Dr. Richard Schvantz has been a licensed, board certified urologist for over 40 years, and he has never been this alarmed when looking at any penis before. "My entire professional career has been dedicated to learning about diseases of the...

Patriot Will Get Vaccinated If The Sunlight He’s Shooting Up His Ass Doesn’t Work First

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins has already fought off two COVID-19 infections, but as he told his audience this weekend, he has "absolutely zero plans" to take one of the three currently approved...

Alabama Offering Anyone Who Gets Vaccinated Free Nudes of Their Sister

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA -- All over the country, states are trying desperately to get their residents to take one of the three FDA-approved COVID-19 vaccines. Most economists agree that a key factor in getting economies going again after nearly a...

Fauci Suggests ‘Some Senators’ Wear a Mask to Hide from Punchy Neighbors

Giving an interview on CNN, Dr. Anthony Fauci suggested that even though the CDC has just issued new guidelines for vaccinated people regarding indoor masking, there are some Americans who may want to keep wearing a mask indefinitely. "If I...

Ted Nugent Reportedly Tried Shitting His Pants to Avoid Getting Covid

"Some folks just stick with what they know."
- Advertisement -spot_img

Latest News

Stephen Miller Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott ‘Reverse Racist’ Black Friday

This week, millions of Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving. Some will embrace a traditional, more whitewashed version of the very...
- Advertisement -spot_img