coronavirus

Hannity Asks Why Biden Didn’t Do More to Stop 400k Americans From Dying Last Year

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- If one were looking for signs that the right-wing media sphere has begun to process what life will be like with Joe Biden as president, they wouldn't have to look much farther than Sean...

Fauci Suggests a Lobotomy Might Cure Rand Paul’s ‘Bullshit-itis’

"And let me be crystal clear -- I only say 'might' because we have to first confirm he has anything to lobotomize." WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) clearly has it out for Dr. Anthony Fauci. Some speculate that Sen....

She Just Got Her GED, But She Knows Fauci Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About

"I wear this 45 hat everywhere I go for two reasons -- loyalty to Trump and to remind people that your IQ doesn't define how intelligent you am." - Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO)

Scientists Developing Covid Vaccine That Will Also Shut Meghan McCain the Fuck Up

Calling it "one of the most important and necessary endeavors" of her career, Dr. Kimberly Manheimsteemrohler told a radio host today that she and her fellow researchers at Northwest Southern Idaho University are close to a true medical breakthrough. "If...

Here You Go Plebs, Here’s $600. Thanks For the Salary and Healthcare.

The following editorial was written by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-CA) in concert with one another. The views and opinions expressed by McConnell and Pelosi do not necessarily reflect those...

Pence Told Reporters He’s Been ‘Poked By Enough Guys’ Before Not to Be Nervous About Coronavirus Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, wearing a short-sleeved, plaid print button-up shirt, outgoing Vice President Mike Pence received a dose of a coronavirus vaccine. Pence took the vaccine dose in an effort to encourage other Americans to get one when...

Man Growing Tired of Covid-19 Restrictions He Doesn’t Really Follow Anyway

LAKE IGNORANCE, MICHIGAN-- Gerald Ricci is sick to death of his town's local COVID-19 restrictions, and he's starting to tell everyone around him that even though he doesn't really follow them, he's starting to feel like he's "literally a...

Trumpist Strikes a Blow for Freedom by Giving His Grandmother Covid-19 on Thanksgiving

DIPSHIT COVE, MICHIGAN -- Stephan Crowzer, a 36-year old self-described "die hard Trumper" told us that he'll never, ever forget how the sunrise looked last Thursday morning. He knew as he watched that hot ball of gas in the sky...

Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch

Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as "Covid-19," has been put on a constant, 24-hour suicide watch over the last several days. The move comes after it was announced that Covid-19 was diagnosed with the...

Trump Claims Pfizer and Moderna ‘Had Never Even Heard of Vaccines’ Until He Told Them to Make One

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Since the end of 2019, the entire planet has been trying to work around and fight against the novel coronavirus, or COVID-19. A global pandemic outbreak has rattled the global economy and in the United States...
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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