coronavirus testing

Fire Chief Robert T. Moron Suggests Without Smoke Alarms There’d Be No Arson

RIO ESTUPIDO, TEXAS -- At a weekly press conference today, Fire Chief Robert T. Moron addressed a recent spike in arsons reported in his small Texas town. Beginning in February, Moron divulged that his fire department had been called...

To End Abortion, President Trump Bans Pregnancy Tests

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most loyal bases of support comes from the conservative evangelical community. Some have wondered just how it was that a man with three wives, several mistresses, and untold scores of sexual encounters...

Trump Asks If Anyone’s Thought to Cure Cancer By Not Screening for Cancer

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not really a secret that President Donald Trump's administration is doing everything it can to downplay the number of Americans who have died as result of COVID-19 complications. Because his reelection seems to hinge so...

Eric Trump Caught Trying to Cheat Off Brother’s Coronavirus Test

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Eric Trump, son of President Donald Trump was just caught trying to cheat off his brother's coronavirus test, and has been escorted to a different room,...

Trump Tests Negative for Coronavirus, But Positive for Dumbfuck Flu

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he delayed being tested for over a week after being exposed at this week's CPAC conference, President Donald Trump announced this weekend that he had been tested for coronavirus infection. The test, the White House...
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Biden Tells MTG He’ll Shoot Down Chinese Balloon When She Finds China or Montana on a Map

President Joe Biden was asked today about whether or not he's heard the calls from House Republicans to direct...
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